Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Facing the Facts

It's time to face the facts:

1. My son will never love me or care about me the way I'd like for him to.
2. I know that I don't deserve his love and care.
3. My son will never desire to know me, to know who I really am.
4. My son will never allow me to get to know him the way I'd like to.
5. My son will never allow me to be a real part of his life.
6. I will always be on the outside, peering in through the window of his life.
7. I know I don't deserve more than that.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I meant to comment on this sooner. So I'm trying to comment what I was going to say before I saw your next post.
    This is a good reality list.
    I have to also remind myself of these very same facts about my son-- on a daily basis.

    How I wish there was something-- anything, we could do to undo this damage. But I know there is nothing.

    My opinion of post-reunion, is that it doesn't work. It didn't work for me, and my birth mother (I am an adoptee and a first mother) the pain was too huge to just get over and have a normal relationship.
    It is the same with my son.

    I'm not very religious, but the verse in the bible is the only thing that gives me hope, it says that someday God will wipe away all the tears from our eyes. I hope that in heaven my son can know me, and not see the pain.

    Anyhow, thanks for your very real insight. My hope is that you and I, can just accept it. Not deny, but accept, this is the way things are.

  3. i totally understand