Saturday, January 23, 2010

Turn the Dial, Please

By the end of this week, I was so sick of the radio station that I listen to. I had to keep it off, as I found myself getting too angry to listen.

I listen to a Christian station, and this week, of course they were focused on abortion, or rather, not having an abortion.

I am pro-life, myself, but I'm not one of those fanatical, condemning "Christians" that will scream at you outside of an abortion clinic. I don't believe that accomplishes anything besides turning people against Christianity.

On the contrary, I have much compassion and sympathy for women who have had abortions. Especially those who are having emotional problems in dealing with it. I have found over the years that many of the symptoms and emotional difficulties are similar to those of us who suffer with dealing with adoption loss.

The reason I was upset is because I find it disturbing that many in the Christian community who are able to embrace and show compassion to women who have had abortions are the same ones who will turn their backs on us. They don't want to hear the voices of the unhappy birth moms and adoptees.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm glad they are compassionate towards the women who are suffering from Post Abortion syndrome. That's as it should be. They should do all they can to show love to them, and help them.

All I ask for is an equal voice. Equal compassion. Equal help. Equal understanding of our pain.

I don't think that's too much to ask.

I want Dr. Dobson to interview a birth mother. I want to hear compassion in his voice towards her as she describes her loss and how her life has been without her child. I don't want to hear him tell her that she made the right choice.

AND Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I think she's wonderful, but I'd also like her to take the time to talk to a birth mom too. To show her some love and compassion and understanding.

I want their attitudes towards adoption to CHANGE. I want for them to stop seeing it as God's will. That's offensive to me. Unfortunately it's something largely used by adoption agencies all across our country.

I want them and others like them to acknowledge our pain. I want them to start to see the adoption industry for what it REALLY is. I want them to open their eyes and have them understand that not all adoptions are necessary, that what is really needed is for Christians to come along side of young women, WHILE THEY ARE PREGNANT and in NEED. To take them under their wing, to help them to find the help they need, so they are able to parent their own child. To focus on family preservation.

Isn't that what a church community is supposed to do? Reach out to someone in need?

I don't want them to tell adoptees to be grateful they are alive and well, and weren't aborted. I want them to listen to them as they describe their pain and what they've gone through their whole lives. How life is different for them, and acknowledge that it IS different.

I don't want them to turn it into an abortion issue. Because it's NOT.

I just want them to LISTEN. That would be a good start.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. I did a study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss a couple years back (Lies Women Believe), and I had a bit of a difficult time because she sure does give a lot of advice on marriage and motherhood when she herself has never experienced either of those things. :) I do appreciate her love for the Lord, and I think she has helped a lot of people, but I sometimes find it hard to receive a word from her. It is easy to be the perfect wife and mom when you don't have a husband and kids. :) At any rate, I think that is in essence what is going on with all the adoption talk on the radio, as well. It is disheartening to me how many people are quick to use their "celebrity" (for lack of a better term here) to speak out about something that they only have one side of. It's like a man being the voice of menopause sufferers, or a woman speaking for survivors of prostate cancer! LOL I don't know. If I don't laugh, I'll cry. :) Everyone seems to think they know how I feel as a woman who has relinquished a child, but they don't want to hear it straight from my own mouth.